13th Anniversary

Today is the 13th anniversary of my first full day of sobriety. I spent it rather unceremoniously traveling across the country, coming back home from my trip to Boston. I thought about the anniversary for most of the day and being alone afforded me the opportunity to replay most of that day in my mind. I was a much different person back then, obviously, but for most of the people who read this blog and didn't know me back then, the differences are unimaginable. There aren't any pictures of me to show you from April 19th, 1994 thank God, mostly due to the fact that at this point I was never invited to get togethers of any kind where pictures might be taken due to the embarrassment I would cause, or simply put, "it was just too sad to hang out with you" according to what my friends would say to me later on. But to give you an idea of what I looked like try this. Close your eyes and picture me weighing about 150 lbs, my skin was jaundiced, my eyes had a yellow hue all caused by my digestive system shutting down. I had large bags under my eyes, at 26 years old I looked and felt like an old man. My legs were very skinny (yes, even skinnier than they are now) and I was just a very sick person. The day I stopped was pretty uneventful, I was "jonesing" a bit but I had my Marlboro lights and some cokes in the fridge to get me through the first night. The three consecutive days without sleep, the shakes, cold sweats, stomach in knots, and a few other reactions to detox that I will spare you here were yet to come. Suffice it to say, you are now reading the blog of the "Turn Your Life Around" poster child.


The one thing I remember the most about that first day was the fear. I thought I was about to lose all my friends since they surely wouldn't want to hang out with me if I didn't drink. I also was afraid of how my life would turn out, I simply didn't know and that scared the hell out of me. As we all know now, things turned out pretty good for me. Actually, much better than pretty good when it comes to friends and my life in general. Not only do I have lot's of friends, but for the most part they are all pretty amazing people, each in their own way. One of my secrets to my sobriety's success is to surround myself with great people. (btw, that would be you guys) Without them I would be nowhere. Without them I would have nothing. It is because of them that my life is as great as it is. And best of all, they all help me stay clean and sober without even knowing it.


On Saturday, Colleen and I went to the Expo in downtown Boston and I immediately went to check in and get my race bib number. When I handed the woman my California drivers license, she looked at it and said "oh my, you sure did come a long way to run the marathon..."



If she only knew just how far I'd come....