Jury Duty

I am on Jury Duty this week, and if my history proves true I will once again be called in to serve. They love me down there, and I will never understood why. I don't mind being called in, the idea of serving on a jury interests me a lot, but just once I'd like to be on a murder trial, or a divorce proceeding involving famous rich people. Something I'd be dying to tell my friends about everyday but couldn't...

I always end up in dry, boring arguments like patent scams or insurance claims. Just my luck, last time I was called into the jurors box on a trial involving a man who got drunk and stabbed his wife to death. The defense attorney's claim was that due to his intoxicated state, he was temporarily insane. In other words, since he was drunk, he couldn't be held responsible for his actions, which flies right into the face of AA theory and the foundation of my sobriety. Once this guy got to me and started asking me questions, you can only imagine how he must have thought I was making stuff up to get off the case...

Attorney: "Are you an Alcoholic or have ever had a problem with alcohol?"

Me: "Yes"

Attorney: "Have you ever been a victim of a violent crime?"

Me: "Yes"

Attorney: "Hmm, OK. Have you ever been stabbed?"

Me: "Yes"

Attorney: "Alright then, were you drunk at the time?"

Me: "of course!"

Attorney: "Sigh, no further questions, the clerk will validate your parking, thank you very much... "

At that point I was wishing Judge Wapner was there to let this guy know from the outset that there was no way he could take me on his jury.